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Over 18388 people liked this! TRUTH: Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.

funandrun

I LOVE YOU When I' m bored, I send a text to a random number saying "I hid the body." No i dont fuck y

"If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me." Ouiser Boudreaux  :)

You drink too much. You swear too much. You have no morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend! Peck & Rowton your my besties!

So true! And when your daughter is talking on her fake phone and you interrupt her and she says, "Mommy, I'm on the phone. You have to be patient." Then you sit tight and give her the same courtesy you expect from her when you're on the phone!

I can relate: No matter how old you are, no matter how badass you think you are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it.

Things Parenting Books Won't Tell You

i never thought grocery shopping would be a vacation but, alone, it is! I remember those days however I really don't like visiting the grocery store

Sometimes it's not so silent.

I'm silently correcting your grammar.not only am I silently correcting you spoken grammar,I am correcting your written grammar!

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I love free speech. SO if you don't like what I say or post, feel free to ignore, mute and/or block me.

There are only a few people, mainly high school friends, who know my song and it makes me laugh when they sing it to me

I do this to people when I'm drunk. Mostly people names Roxanne. Thankfully the only song I've ever heard my name in is a slow country song that most don't know and wouldn't sing.

Then hit in the face with a chair?? Okay! yes-thats-right

funny sayings about men . pk random funny quotes biography random funny quotes witty thoughts to

Point well made! #funny - I remember my grandad telling me about this quote. He had a very quick wit himself.

"Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink" Lady Astor. "Madam, if you were my wife, i would drink it". Winston Churchill (a gentle man).

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