Daily Jokes

Joke of the day for adults.
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A man hates his wife’s cat with a passion and decides to get rid of it once and for all. He drives twenty blocks away from home and drops the cat there….
Time To Get Rid Of The Cat
A man hates his wife’s cat with a passion and decides to get rid of it once and for all. He drives twenty blocks away from home and drops the cat there….
It was Christmas time, and the judge was feeling a little benevolent and filled with holiday spirit. “What exactly is the charge?” he asked counsel. “The man standing before you is charged…
Shopping A Bit Early
It was Christmas time, and the judge was feeling a little benevolent and filled with holiday spirit. “What exactly is the charge?” he asked counsel. “The man standing before you is charged…
A man goes to a doctor for his yearly routine physical. The nurse starts with the basic health questions. “How much do you weigh?” she asks. “Oh, about 165 pounds,” he says….
Some Health Questions
A man goes to a doctor for his yearly routine physical. The nurse starts with the basic health questions. “How much do you weigh?” she asks. “Oh, about 165 pounds,” he says….
A struggling artist stops by the studio where his recent work is hanging for sale. The owner tells him he has good news and bad news. “The good news is that a…
Good News and Bad News For You
A struggling artist stops by the studio where his recent work is hanging for sale. The owner tells him he has good news and bad news. “The good news is that a…
an old lady doctor i have this terrible problem
Another Day in Mental Hospital
A patient in a mental hospital would spend his entire day with his ear pressed up against a wall. The doctor would watch this man, day after day, sit against the wall….
A blonde was swerving all over the road, driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, “Miss, why are you
Why Driving Recklessly?
A blonde was swerving all over the road, driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, “Miss, why are you
A man buys a dog from a pet shop and teaches it to recite the Lord’s Prayer, word-for-word, until the dog has it down perfect. He takes the dog to the pub…
Okay, Let’s Do It!
A man buys a dog from a pet shop and teaches it to recite the Lord’s Prayer, word-for-word, until the dog has it down perfect. He takes the dog to the pub…
TO: Boss FROM: Blondie RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K I hope that I haven’t misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to…
Changing Calendars
TO: Boss FROM: Blondie RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K I hope that I haven’t misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to…
a joke with two faces and the words joke
It's The Plumber
A lady was expecting the plumber. He was scheduled to come at 10 A.M. Ten o’clock came and went with no plumber. She concluded he wasn’t coming, and went out to do…
a joke with two faces and the words joke on it, as well as an image of
And No Plot Whatsoever!
A blonde walked in a library and went to the librarian, pulls out a thick book and started screaming at her. She yells, “THIS BOOK IS HORRIBLE! THERE ARE TOO MANY CHARACTERS…
a joke with two faces and the words joke
Tell Me, What Do You Want?
One evening, on her first date, a blond went to an amusement park with her boyfriend. After they went on the roundabout, the boy said, “What do you want to do next?”…
a joke with two faces and the words joke written below it on a black background
Sick Of The Cops!!
A man was complaining about the local police to his neighbor. “I’m sick of the cops in this town telling me how to drive when they are some of the worst drivers…
an orange background with two faces and the words joke
Surgeons on Coffee Break
Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work. “I think accountants are the easiest to operate on,” said the first surgeon. “You open them up and everything inside is…
a poem with two faces and the words joke written below it in black on a blue background
Just a Tongue Twister Accident
A guy with a black eye boards his plane and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too. He says to…
two faces with the words joke in front of them and an image of another face
Watch This, You Guys
Three vampiwho’s the most vicious vampire amongst them. The first one says, “Watch this,” He flies fast, at about 100 miles/hour.
a joke with two faces and the words joke on it's bottom right corner
Hard Times in Jungle
Three men, two brunettes and a blond, are being chased by a tiger through the jungle. They get to a river and have two choices: 1. Get across the river without being…
an old english gentleman, a handsome young frenchman, an old lady and a beautiful young blonde are traveling in the same compartment
When The Train in a Tunnel
An old English gentleman, a handsome young Frenchman, an old lady and a beautiful young blonde are traveling in the same compartment of a train. The train passes through a tunnel and…
an image of a joke for the doctor
My Wife Cannot Hear Well
Fred feared his wife Rhonda wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the…
joke about oscar and his brand new mercedes car to his favorite sporting goods store
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes car to his favorite sporting goods store.
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes car to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan…
an image of joke with two faces and the caption joke for doctors office or memory test
Three elderly men are at the doctor’s office for a memory test.
Three elderly men are at the doctor’s office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man, “What is three times three?” “Two hundred and eighteen,” comes the reply. The doctor…
there's a blonde and a brunette working for a painting company they need to paint the yellow lines on a road by hand for the
There’s a blonde and a brunette working for a painting company.
There’s a blonde and a brunette working for a painting company. They need to paint the yellow lines on a road by hand for the city since the trucks are broken. The…
a joke with two faces and the words joke on it's bottom right corner
A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive
A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The female blonde mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body…
an orange background with two faces and the words joke
A trucker has just turned a corner on...
A trucker has just turned a corner on a deserted roadway and was proceeding to change lanes when a blonde in a speedy corvette cut right in front of him almost making…
a joke with two faces on it and the words joke written in white above them
Twins Of The Blond
A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He…
an orange background with two faces and the words joke
Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work.
Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work. “I think accountants are the easiest to operate on,” said the first surgeon. “You open them up and everything inside is…
a poem with two faces and the words joke written in black on an orange background
Two brothers, Shawn and Curt, went fishing.
Two brothers, Shawn and Curt, went fishing. Every time Shawn threw his hook in, he caught a fish, but Curt didn’t have the same success. By the end of the day, Shawn…
an image of joke with two faces on it
Three men, two brunettes and a blond,
Three men, two brunettes and a blond, are being chased by a tiger through the jungle. They get to a river and have two choices: 1. Get across the river without being…
an old english gentleman, a handsome young frenchman, an old lady and a beautiful young blonde are traveling in the same compartment
An old English gentleman, a handsome young Frenchman
An old English gentleman, a handsome young Frenchman, an old lady and a beautiful young blonde are traveling in the same compartment of a train. The train passes through a tunnel and…
a joke with two faces and the words joke on it's bottom right corner
The Amazing Mirror
A brunette, blonde and a redhead walk into a bar. The bartender tells them there is a magic mirror in the back room and if you stand in front of it and…
the joke is written in front of an orange background with two faces and words above it
Will You Watch Us, Doctor?
A couple, both in their 70s, went to a s** therapist’s office. The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?” The man said, “Will you watch us have s**?” The doctor…
the joke for joker and his friends is shown in this screenshoter image, which includes
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else…
the joke is in front of a woman's face and has two faces on it
A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday.
A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to…
a joke with two faces and the words joke on it's bottom right corner
The Fired Blonde
A blonde was recently fired from her cashier job, because she kept stealing money from the register. She went looking for work the next day. A few days later, she came to…
a joke with two faces and the words joke written below it on a black background
Twins Of The Blond
A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He…
a car with the words oscar drive his brand new mercedes car to his favorite sporting goods store he parked it outside and
Did You Stop Him??
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes car to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan…
a red background with an image of a paint can and the words there's a blonde and a brunette working for a painting company they need to paint the yellow lines on a road by hand
Painting The Yellow Lines
There’s a blonde and a brunette working for a painting company. They need to paint the yellow lines on a road by hand for the city since the trucks are broken. The…
a red background with an image of a police officer
Because Your Blouse is Open
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts. A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, “Ma’am, are you aware that I could cite you…
a yellow vending machine sitting on top of a brown table next to a wall
Blonde And Vending Machine
A blonde was standing in front of a vending machine. She put in a dollar, pushed a button and a coke came out. She put in another dollar, pushed a different button…
Son: “Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl.” Father: “That’s great, son! Who is she?” Son: “It’s Sandra, the neighbor’s daughter.” Father: “Ohhh, I wish you hadn’t… Sons, Daughter, Father, Dads, Six Girl, Dating
Who is she?
Son: “Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl.” Father: “That’s great, son! Who is she?” Son: “It’s Sandra, the neighbor’s daughter.” Father: “Ohhh, I wish you hadn’t…
two men are sitting in a bar drinking the first man notices two old men across the bar he points at them and says to his friend,
You See Those 2 Old Men?
Two men are sitting in a bar drinking. The first man notices two old men across the bar. He points at them and says to his friend, “That’s us in about ten years.”
a green background with white text that reads four expect fathers face back and forth in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor
Give Me The Good News, Nurse!
Four expectant fathers pace back and forth in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor. The nurse enters and tells the first man, “Congratulations, you’re the father of...
a man talking on a cell phone while holding his hand up to his head with the words after a thing day, a young lady settled down in her local train seat and closed
This Guy Talks in A Loud Voice
After a tiring day, a young lady settled down in her local train seat and closed her eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her, pulled out his cell phone...
a green screen with an image of a piece of paper and the text, 1950's arithmetic test a logger cuts and sells a truckload of lumber for $ 100
Evolution Of Arithmetic Test
1960’s arithmetic test: A logger cuts and sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is four fifths of that amount. What is his profit? 1970’s new-math test: A logger...
a green poster with an image of a man in a suit sitting on a chair
A Foolish Pilot
A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool and show who was boss on the aviation frequencies. So, this was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime. Instead of...
The young girl arrived for an interview to become a trainee executive. “So, Miss Brightly, what are your qualifications?” “Well I graduated from Oxford... Interview, Qualifications, Achievement, Honest, How To Become, Honours Degree
An Honest Liar
The young girl arrived for an interview to become a trainee executive. “So, Miss Brightly, what are your qualifications?” “Well I graduated from Oxford...
a pig peeks over the top of a fence with words below it that read finding himself lost, a motorist stops to ask a farmer for directions and as they are talking
A Pig? No, A Real Hero
Finding himself lost, a motorist stops to ask a farmer for directions and as they are talking he notices a pig with a wooden leg. “Why’s that pig got a wooden leg?” he asks...
a man standing in front of an orange sign
I Want To Buy That TV
One day a blonde was in a store, and saw a sign advertising a huge TV sale. She goes up to the salesman, and points to a shelf and says, “I want to buy that TV.” The man says...
a baseball glove with the words two old men, abe and so sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball
Abe, Is That You?!
Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball. Abe turns to Sol and asks, “Do you think there’s baseball in heaven...
a blue poster with the words sales representative
The Genie Of An Antique Lamp
A sales representative, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out...
a poem written in english with an image of a woman on top of a car
A Passionate Pianist
A bloke knocks off and heads home. It’s a foul night, with rain bucketing down, lightning flashing and thunder crashing. He sees a woman on the side of the road...