This is sad because this is how depression works . No one notices , cares , or even gives a shit until your laying dead cold in a fucking casket. Then "you were so beautiful" "smart" and "everyone loved you.
Honestly I never feel included I feel like their just my friends because they fill bad for me or don't want to be mean. I swear I feel so fucking alone around everybody. I feel like a fucking outcast all the damn time.
Those, readers, are the most painful nights. The nights that no one knows of. The nights that are too damn long. The nights that make you not want to get out of bed in the morning. The nights that make your eye swell from sobbing so much.
And when you ask for help you're told oh, you'll be fine, you're the strong one . in vulnerable moments it makes you truly question why even bother with other people. No one understands why we shut down then, and then later explode.