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The New Yorker
"I have two ducks and you have none. THAT'S why I get to make the rules."
New Yorker Cartoons
The New Yorker
"We're not that well organized, but we know where everybody is."
"Sometimes I feel like all we have left is our top-flight education, our generational wealth, and our secure place in the business-world boys'-club network."
"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."
"Here's where you reassure me that this is work-related."
"We're ready to begin the next phase of keeping things exactly the way they are."
How To Plan
"Change in plans - the deadline's been moved up to four days ago."
Fireflies In A Jar
"Today's meeting will be endless, with a half-hour break for lunch."
"So then I said to myself, 'Why should I make toys when I can make the deals to make the toys?' "
"In five years, I see myself with the same job title, about the same salary, and significantly more responsibilities."
Did You Know
"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"
"First of all, stop calling them 'wishes'. That's loser talk. We call them 'goals'."
Real World Hopscotch
Losing A Child
Welcome to Dysfunction Corp. "We're not a company... We're a family!"
"I'd love to chat, Dave, but unless it's high-powered, high-quality, high-finance, high-tech chat, I just don't have the time."
"Sometimes I think the collaborative process would work better without you."
Cubicles, Execs And Employees Growing More Similar To Bees
"I usually wake up screaming at six-thirty, and I'm in my office by nine."
Funny Jokes For Adults
The Far Side
"In six more weeks, these M.B.A.s will be ready for market."
A school of fish following one fish who is labeled "CEO".
"We're talking business ethics not ethics."
"Run it by legal." "Run it by accounting."
I Call You
"Hey, can I call you right back in two weeks?"
The Company Store
"I've decided to leave the company. Could I have my soul back?"